So finally after officially getting into CTI, I found a reason to finally buy a guitar. I was so excited and so ready to bring it overseas. It was a Seagull 33430 Entourage Series Guitar, that to me, sounded girly. I had borrowed an electric guitar from one of my leaders who had a lot of influence in my musical involvement at church, a CTI alum, and a crazy guitar player, so it meant a lot to me that I would be playing his guitar overseas. I had everything ready and packed! I was so excited to finally have something of my own to bring to the table, but that excitement was short lived.
After the first week of training, my team decided that I was not going to bring either of the guitars I brought, overseas. My role on the team was the Acoustic Rhythm Guitarist which means I will won't be needing an electric guitar, and one of my teammates brought a Taylor guitar which in the music world, is a no brainer better quality guitar. I played his Taylor orAshley as he named it, for the entire 6 weeks that we were together. I never really got the opportunity to play my guitar other than practicing at my host home whenever we weren't already too exhausted from training.
On top of this, because our team had three guitarist- two rhythm guitarist, our individual time on stage was also cut. I remember complaining on the first few days that I wasn't playing for one of the more energetic songs (Tomalo). I felt that I deserved something or that I was entitled to something. It was easy for me to think that I wasted my time and money on a guitar that I won't be playing. It was easy to complain and sulk in self pity. I felt that I didn't even have to be there; that I was not needed on the team.
God has a really strange sense of humor because the very week we had our devotions on humility and we did a team building exercise about not complaining. During the entire devotion, I couldn't help but laugh at myself. I was complaining and being selfish about something so superficial. Who cares if the guitar I am playing isn't mine? I am still playing and still doing work. In fact, I haven't ever played with a guitar that was mine, what difference was it now? Who cares if I wasn't on stage for a upbeat song? I got to jam with the audience and see my team rock out from off stage. My priority was so messed up and self-centered, that I neglected to see this as an opportunity to serve my team.
To start my experience with CTI in such a way was truly humbling. I didn't go overseas with a fancy guitar or anything that I could call my own. My talent and ability was a gift from God. Nothing I have is my own. I was able to serve wholeheartedly, convicted of that fact that everything I have is because of God's grace. You see, I came to the realization that God doesn't need me or any of us really. If he wants his name to be known, it will happen. We just get to be apart of it and marvel at how great he is. There will always be more talented musicians, more qualified people, and better speakers than me but He chose me to go. If he wants me off stage, then I will serve him from off stage. If he wants me to submit and serve my team, then I will serve my team in every way possible. If he wants me to leave everything I have, then I will go where he will call me. I didn't have to trust in my own talent or skill because I trusted in Him to use me in anyway so that his gospel will be preached.
"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service." 1 Timothy 1:12
-Charlie
"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service." 1 Timothy 1:12
-Charlie
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