Endings

I have a weird fascination for things that end the same way it started. There is a weird sense of completion and fulfillment in it. To come back full circle and see how different you are and how much you've grown and changed.

There is always a part of us that want to go back in time and relive the dearest and happiest moments of our lives. There is always a part of us that wants to go back in time and fix the mistakes and regrets we might have. There is always a part of us that want to just stop time and never grow up. It is in those times that we find it the most difficult to let go, move on, and continue. It is in those times that we either choose to keep walking or stop.

In these past few days, I was in this suspension of time. I had just completed a four year long circle and as much as I know it is finished, I find it extremely difficult to let go. I have invested four years to one thing and looking back, I can say that I am proud of the circle I made. It has marks of my tears, sweat, and blood; joy, pride, and satisfaction; pain, sorrow, and regrets. This was my circle; my mark on society; my mark on those I learned to love.

I have reached my finish line and went back to where it all started. I have returned to the place where it all began but this time... this time, it is where it will end. I have started and ended in the same place. All I have left now is to step away from my finished circle and start a new one. Granted, it will be hard at first- starting from scratch and not knowing when the this next circle will be completed, but I have to at least start.

My time is now done in this one place; I have passed down my ranks. I have done my duty to the best of my abilities and I have completed this circle. I cannot say I will never look back, but I can say that when and if I do look back, it will be with unspeakable joy- the joy of knowing I finished and the joy of knowing it happened.


-Charlie