Go! Tell it on the Mountain: Upraised

Hello Friends! 

I am super excited to start this new project series where I can very spontaneously and compulsively share things that get my mind cells all worked up. Unlike my other blogs, this will hopefully just be a place where I can share my awe and wonder with you all without the pressure of formalizing thoughts or spelling. The hope for this series is for it to be a place where 1) I can spill and share some of the crazies that happen in my brain and 2) for all of you to pick at my brain... literally? 

The series is called "Go! Tell it on the Mountain" because that is literally how I feel when I have these epiphanies. I just want to tell the entire world because I am super excited and this stuff will (hopefully but not literally) blow your brains out!  I cannot promise it will be short, but I can promise that I will be random and maybe tangential. ANYWAY! READY! SET! GO! Entry #1...

Upraised

The worst human condition... LONELINESS! OKAY! I know, let me explain 

1) It is not good for man to be alone- whether or not you are religious, community is sooo sooo important and plays a ginormous role in shaping who you are. 

2) It is not only a scary thing to be physically alone (like last person on the earth kind-of alone), emotionally alone (like being surrounded by many people but still feeling alone), but also spiritually alone. 

3) What does it mean to be spiritually alone? The way that I am using this phrase here is the idea of God letting human beings loose to do whatever they please... 

"Yet for all this, his anger was not turned away, his hand is still upraised"-- Isaiah 5:25 

I read this verse and here was my line of thought. 

A) <-- changing things up a bit.... 

A) Why did God keep his hands upraised? 

B) Is He getting ready to strike again? That would be scary... 

C) Phone a friend... Google... 

D) WOAH! *insert image of a person who has had enough with all the crazy shenanigans of this world (injustice, violence, destruction), putting his hands up and slowly backing away... 

E) The worst of all human conditions is not just our sinful nature and our natural compulsion to do what is destructive and evil, but when given the choice, to choose to do what is destructive and evil. The worst of all human conditions is when we are left to do what we each see fit and claim authority and control over things we do not have. The worst of all human conditions is one without a God who is Just; who is the Creator, and who is Good. The worst of all human conditions is one without God...

So when God upraised his hands and left Israel to their own ways, Israel led themselves into their own end and destruction... This is beyond scary! 

In a world that pushes people to be "individuals" and "independent", the understanding of being in community is lost. Community with others is unnecessary and being in communion with God is annoying and restricting. Being dependent is the ultimate sin and shame of our society today... 

But, it is not good for mankind to be alone... 

***Insert Tangent*** Credits to RHET 160/167

Companion: Com (With) + pan (Bread).... LITERALLY SOMEONE YOU BREAK BREAD WITH... ***Insert mind being blown***

Charlie 

Look! And You Will See (Spring 2016 Reflection)

Philippians 3:8 

What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ.

The world is an attractive place. If you imagine it being an endless buffet. You can have whatever you like whenever you like, granted you have the money to get in, in the first place. But like any buffet, you cannot have both quantity and quality. So you are left stuffing yourself with garbage food until you physically cannot move. Then you leave. Then you come back the next day, spending more money, more time, more energy to try to satisfy all of your cravings that day. Today I will have the steak; tomorrow, we go for the lobster. Next thing you know you are left trying to finish a checklist of things that will never end. The only certain thing is that if you continue on this never ending cycle, you will die... heartburn, heart attack, heart failure... it is a heart problem. My heart was so easily swayed this past semester. I wanted to do a lot of things; I sought after the good of this world. I sought out worldly comfort and worldly treasures. I wanted time and energy stuffing myself with garbage. I came out of everyday feeling shameful and disgusting. But I kept going back for more... there was no end and next thing I knew, I was seeking for the end so that I could find a purpose. But there was no end found for the endless buffet that the world offered. There was no end but the end itself.

Now imagine that you are dining at a three michelin star restaurant. Everything is beautiful. The table is set, and you are brought to your seat. The course is whatever the chef is making and you know it is going to be great. The first course comes; everything about it is decadent. The flavors all worked, everything was in harmony. It was as quality as quality can get. Then the next dish comes out, then the next, and so until until you get to the last course. Then you finish. You wait for the check but the waiter comes back and tells you the meal was on the house. Everything was paid for. You leave the place full, satisfied, and your whole understanding of food changes. As the saying goes, "you can never looks at it the same way ever again." Something changes. Everything changes.

Unlike the buffet, you can't go back to the three-michelin star restaurant whenever you want. It was a once and a life time experience. There is not enough money in the world to go back. It was finished. It was done. There is nothing better. The entire experience was something different; I did not get to order what I wanted, I trusted the palette of the chef. There was not an endless amount of food to my disposal; it was just the right amount. There was a beginning, middle, and end; it made sense. The chef was in charge the entire time and I did nothing to deserve any of the food. The chef worked and I just partook in his creation. The check was paid for by the chef himself... THAT is beyond my comprehension.

But when tomorrow comes, what will you choose? I chose to go back to the buffet. I chose to revert back to my old "eating" habits. I fought people in line for food that I knew wasn't even that good. I went back over and over again. I chose to ignore. I chose to forget. I paid for second best.  I paid for trash. I paid for things I knew will never satisfy. Little did I know that satisfaction was already attained. I was searching for something I already had.

I was greedy for more. I was discontent with the best. I wanted more even though there is nothing better. I chose to turn away from what I knew was best. I chose to run to what I knew was trash and hoped that I would find something greater there. But there is nothing the world could offer that is better than Christ himself.

I was looking to the world. I was looking for satisfaction in this world. I chose to ignore that God is good. I chose to forget the grace he has shown. I took for granted the price he paid. I looked to the world for something only God could satisfy and I was angry when the world left me shameful and disgusting.

I did not understand for the longest time why the world was so appealing to me. I never understood why I kept going back to a place that I knew offered nothing. I told myself I had a heart problem. I told myself that I could fix it if I just stopped going back to the world. Never once did I think to go get help. I thought if I just stopped, it would heal on its own and get better. Never once did I think that maybe exercising would be good. Never once did I think that I need to be healed.

The lyrics of this song struck me as so truthful to the situation that I was in. In the constant struggle between the things of this world and the plan that God has for me, I found myself asking why I desired the things of this world so much. Why was the world so appealing to me when I obviously know that God is better? Then I realized, I was looking at it wrong.

I was looking at the world and seeing it for all the potential and trash that it was. I was never satisfied but I kept searching for satisfaction. Even when I was frustrated, I questioned why it was so. Not once did I think to turn away. I looked to solutions in the world and even when I was disgusted and ashamed, I was looking at the world. Maybe tomorrow, they will have something better. What I didn't realize was that I needed to change where I was looking. Imagine again being in the three-michelin star restaurant. When you are there, nothing else compares. You forget all the garbage food from everywhere else you've been to. Everything else just doesn't matter anymore. All you see and all you experience is what is in front of you. So if I am looking and worrying about the things of this world, then that is all I get... literally... all of its trash, all of its unsatisfying-ness, everything! I get all of the garbage of the world. BUT! If I am looking at God and what he did on that cross, what he has done, is doing and will continue to do... everything else just fades. All that matters is what God is doing and how he is working. My desire would not be for the things of this world but for the things of God, his plan for me. Like lyrics say, the things of this world WILL grow strangely dim... because the focus is not on the world; our eyes are focused on our God and Savior. There is no healing that the world can offer. There is no desire that God cannot satisfy. But the question is no longer why the world is so appealing but rather... where are you looking? 

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in his wonderful face

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace

Charlie 

Fall 2015: Reflection

The theme of this past semester for me was: economics.

What is economics and how does it affect us?

Yes, I know what you are thinking: what is a philosophy major doing talking about economics? Economics is the way that the world thinks, and so as a philosophy major, I have to study and understand it. Furthermore, I will be questioning it. Why economics, and what are its consequences?

Economics -- it is as simple as 1, 2, 3. Literally. It is a test of numbers and efficiency. Your goal is to maximize profit and minimize cost. It is good for business and good for decision-making. It is a way of life. It is now, THE way of life. Why?

We live in a world that constantly tells you, “You are MORE than just a number.” But then it judges your success with scores and stats and salaries. You are just one out of the seven billion people in the world. You are just one small piece of the targeted audience of a particular product. You are a statistic on a graph that shows how diverse your school or your company is. You are just another pawn in someone else’s life, and they’re calculating their next best move. Millions of people die every year; do you know any of their names? We are collateral damage to the game of numbers. Yes, you are still just a number. Why?

We live in a world that screams EQUALITY, but is that not just another equal sign in the operation of making everyone the same? Is that really the goal we are striving for? When equality turns into conformity and anyone different from you is forced to stay in line. When was life as easy as an equation, where the answer can be boxed in or defined?

You see, economics is the way we think. It is inescapable. No matter where we go and what we say, it will show itself again; it will pull us back into a world of numbers. But have we just given up on thinking outside of the box or are we blind to the four walls of this way of thinking and grown complacent where we are? Have we accepted that we are just a number and that success is just how many zeroes are on our paycheck or how many letters are behind our name? Have we forgotten how to love one another like brothers and sisters, and instead resolved to just locking ourselves up behind bars of comfort and elementary mathematics?

Charlie  

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time, it was okay to cry; it was okay to laugh uncontrollably; it was okay to stumble and fall; it was okay to not know, to be free of all cares, and to be nothing less than honest. It was okay to ask for help and to feel small; it was okay to dream crazy dreams and aspire to be like superman. Once upon a time, life was simple, but then I grew up. 

Summer of 2015: Class of Goodness

As if summer school was not enough, I found myself spending the rest of my summer lesson planning and grading papers as a teacher at my church's summer camp. After spending an intense six weeks with very intellectual and profound minds, I found myself face-to-face with third graders. While I had the luxury of learning from some great scholars and professors, I was now the one to instill some knowledge into the these seven/eight-year-olds. Needless to say, it was an experience like no other. I was prepared to be strict and lay down the law; I was ready with creative ways to discipline and rebuke; I was ready to be THAT teacher that they will never forget. I will argue that I did teach these children something but to be honest, I think they were the ones who taught me. I did not expect to see them grow in the span of the month that I was there; I did not expect to have a personal relationship with each one of the children; I did not expect to fall completely in love with my class and see God working so clearly in the lives of the children.  These kids were so transparent and so eager to learn. They are not at that age yet where they had a full-fleshed attitude but they definitely had some of the craziest personalities. They were the first to get upset but also the first to forgive. They sympathized with each other and encouraged each other. They loved each other like their own brothers and sisters. They have a curiosity and an eagerness like no other. They are filled with questions and anticipation to learn. They were also some of the most honest kids I've met. They admit their wrong almost instantly and accept punishment with understanding and reflection. It was amazing to see how pure and how simple their hearts were. This idea of having child-like faith is something we all say but not something we see often. It is such a beautiful and humbling thing to see these kids so full of energy and joy. They literally are mini-adults... with slightly large heads but so full of life. God has opened my heart to these children and showed me His heart for His children. As a father would teach his children, I had the opportunity to teach these children this summer, but more so, I had the opportunity to love these children the same way that God loves His. It was such a joy to see God working in every little detail of every single day and in every single one of the children. Every child was a blessing and it was truly a learning experience that I will never forget.

Summer of 2015: Summer School

Unlike most college kids, my freshmen year didn't really end with a big sigh of relief. If anything, it was just enough time for me to catch my breath and continue running. The first part of my summer was just me in summer school.  

While there are many reasons for people to take summer school, I took it because... well... I actually don't know. I just went online one day and signed up for classes. It felt like a whim and I never really took the time to ask myself why I felt the need to take summer classes. But I did and here I am now, rather excited to go back to school. 

I took two classes over the summer: Modern Philosophy and Rhetoric. 
Here are some things that I realized about Philosophy: 
1) Even from the very beginning, philosophers were trying prove the existence of God. 
2) Proofs for the existences of God were never as satisfying or convincing as I hoped for. 
3) So what was the point? 

During the entire class, I felt rather disappointed that no one had a convincing proof for God. The only thing that I was sure of after this class was that something exists somewhere that does things that we might or might not know about. That wasn't good enough. I was half expecting to read more about philosophers who gave a proof for no God, but I was not expecting a whole course of philosophers with proofs for God and to feel less convinced that God actually exists. God just seems to be this idea that people tack on at the end of their proof when they can no longer explain certain things. God seems to be the thing that conveniently fills all the void that our human limitations can never reach. Although some proved logical, none proved God to the satisfaction of believers and non-believers alike. So that got me thinking... What was the point? Why were solid proofs for God not convincing? How else can we convince people of God's existence, if he even exist at all? 

That unfortunately is a question for another post. I have yet to answer that question to the extent that I feel is comprehensive. (Feel free to comment if you want to take a stab at it.)  

The second class I took was a rhetoric class and there was only one thing that I took away from the class... which also only tangentially relevant. Near the end of the class, my professor shared with us the moment that he became an atheist. He was raised Catholic and one day, sitting in his room with a book open in front of him, he came to the conclusion that he did not believe in God. How he came to that conclusion is his personal story but that was his conclusion and from that day on, he was an atheist. The shocking part of the story is what he said after. He said that if there is no God ... then all we have ... is each other. From then he changed his life to advocate on many social issues in order to bring justice to those people... to all people. I was taken back by his story because I had such a misconstrued idea of what an atheist was like. They quite possibly have the biggest heart for the people of this world because these people are all that they can be certain of. This world is all that they know and care about, and they will be the first to stand for social change and bettering the lives of other people.  So where does that put me? 

Again, I have no answer yet to these questions. I don't know my standing yet on many social issues. But one thing I know for sure... once you add God into this equation, everything changes.Welp! That is all that I have for this post. I will try to answer those questions that I could not answer in a later post but until then... 

-Charlie

Till Death Do Us Part

Till death do us part.
The first thing that comes to my mind when I hear that phrase is marriage. That is what people say when they get married. Till death do us part... aka, I will love you until the day that you die. But is that all? Is your love only reserved for that one person? What if I used this phrase outside the context of marriage...?

Till death do us part.
Being in college and meeting new people everyday, I came to realize something a little unsettling. In life, we can say that we pick and chose our friends. If we don't like them, then we move on. If compatible, then best friends for life. But what about those people that we see on the street everyday, or that one person that sits next to you in class and the only meaningful conversation you had was to ask for a pencil. In those situations, what does it mean to say"till death do us part"?

For those you love, it is easy to say, I will love you until the day that you die. It is easy to want to shower those you love with all the blessings of the world. It is easy to love those who love you back. Is that to say that you love them because it is convenient? No. Loving people, being selfless, giving more of yourself to someone else and expecting nothing in return is not a convenient thing. Loving someone is never easy. No relationship is ever easy. Everything we do requires effort and time and energy. For some, it just seems easier to give effort and time and energy, especially when it is reciprocated.

For those that are harder to love, this notion of "till death do us part" can be a beacon of hope. You can look at it like this: you have until the day they die or the day you die to mend and to work on your relationship. Regardless if it is a good relationship or a not so great relationship, I am one to believe that every person you encounter, you meet for a reason. Every relationship you build has potential to be positive and constructive. It is a matter of how much effort, time and energy you decide to put into it. Relationships shouldn't be a bargain or a transaction. It shouldn't just be an opportunity to make connections or build your network. It is more important than that. It is about learning to give, learning to be vulnerable, and learning to do what seems most impossible at times, to love. Every time an argument occurs, make an effort to fix it. Some people will spend their entire lives confronting one problem, but isn't that enough. Until either one of you dies, there is still time to fix and mend. There is still time to make mistakes and learn. There is still time to love.

The scariest thing about that is that you never know when the other person is going to die. Nor do you know what you will die. Till death do us part.... in this one sentence is a sense of hope, but a greater sense of urgency.

Lastly, for those that we do not know so well- that one kid that sits next to you everyday, don't be shy to lend a hand but also don't miss out on an opportunity to build relationships. Now, I am not saying that you force them into being your best friend, but don't close that door before you go in. Sometimes, the greatest people you meet are those ones you never expected. Sometimes the best of friends are not the ones that are easy to love, but those that you learn to love, fail to love, but continue to love.