CTI- Team Guatemala 2014

"There are so many asians on my teams!"

Before going on this trip I had the expectation that my team would be very diverse and I was mentally prepared to be the only asian on the team... Evidently, God has a funny sense of humor and I was blessed with this amazing team. From all over the United States and Canada and from all different ages and walks of life, this is the team that I spent 6 weeks with. We played together, struggled together, encouraged each other, and built relationships that I hope will last for the rest of our lives. I grew to love these people so dearly and after seeing them 24/7 for 6 weeks, I think I can also call them my family- brothers and sisters in Christ. SO! Without further ado! 

CTI TEAM GUATEMALA 2014!!!

Team Leaders: Eva and Aaron! 

        Both my leaders spent a full year traveling with CTI's full time teams CTI 14:21 and 14:22. It is not everyday that you meet people who have dedicated a year or two of their lives into full time ministry right after college. Both my leaders are great musicians but above all they were the prime example for our team as what servanthood should look like. It was incredible to see how much work they did in preparing for our trip overseas. From planning music sets to daily Bible verses, to devotions, to having a full medicine cabin of vitamin C and other fun stuff to keep the team healthy, they made sure that we had what we needed in order to serve of contact the next day. The way they both served our team is by being our guardians and taking up the responsibility for not only our physical well-being, but our mental and spiritual well-being as well as growth. They were a constant reminder that everything we did was for the glory of the Lord. 

Vocalist: Josh, Elisabeth, Becca, and Angela

        Josh~ DAD! By the end of the trip, our team called him either dad or grandpa or uncle. Regardless, he was old and wise in the eyes of the team. He was a constant reminder of being a mature and responsible adult. I was most encouraged by him whenever we would have short passing conversations and he would share some of is life stories or wisdom about the Bible. In his lessons he would never sugar coat things and said them as plainly as it is. He was our reminder to see things as they are and to not make things overly complicated. Maybe it was his age, or maybe it was his personality, but as a team we valued his words and perspective and loved to just hear him talk. 

        Elisabeth~ The baby of the group. When I first stalked her on facebook, I thought she was famous. Granted, as we speak, she might be getting a record deal somewhere in LA! She was our only fluent spanish speaker on our team and she carried us as not only a translator but an awesome vocalist. I remember listening to her sing for the first time and was immediately taken back. She has such a powerful voice that could silence any room. This was evident in our concerts whenever she led a song and got every head to turn.  I  remember smiling from the back of the stage every time she lead Jesus, Hijo De Dios (Jesus, Son of God) and the room just gets quiet and the audience just stares at her in awe while she worshipped. It was so awesome to see how God used her everyday to minister to the kids at the schools and churches. God has given her such an amazing and unique voice and I am super excited to see where He leads her next! 

        BECCA~ Thank God for Becca... and her mom. I had met Becca before I met the rest of my team in Minnesota. The story is that her mom did not want her to fly alone so she found me and ended up flying with me to MN.  What was suppose to be me watching out for her, ended up being her watching over me as I never flew by myself before. Over the course of the trip, I was glad that God gave us time to have many meaningful conversations...even if it was at 2 in the morning. She has such a heart to help other people and such a passion for missions. Her desire to be a full time missionary at 16 was very inspiring and I can see how God has just set a fire inside her to go and do work. She also has a way with kids that would light up anyone's day. Until the very end of the trip, God was using her to work in my life and to remind me of His provision. God has so blessed me with putting her on my team and I can truly say that I will miss seeing such child-like faith. God is going to do some great things in your life, Becca and I am super excited to see what they will be! =) 

          Angela~ This girl is a secret rock star that cannot have coffee. I think of my entire team, she was one of the most calm...until you give her coffee. Other than her random bursts of energy, one thing that I took away from talking to Angela is how big prayer is a part of her life. In her testimony, she highlights how through her struggles, prayer is the one thing she went back to. Through prayer, God has worked in her life and delivered her from her struggles and it was a good reminder for me as well of how powerful prayer truly is. As team, prayer was something we always went back to. Everything we did had to go back to prayer and soon praying became a thing we asked to do not what we were told to do. 

Rhythm Section : Nick- Drums, Barry- Bass

           Nick~ What I loved most about Nick was his ability to make our team laugh-from his Minnesota accent, to his Indian accent, to really random jokes, to just the way he smile and intentionally bring joy into any situation. Watching him approach people with the limited spanish that we knew and was able to draw a crowd around him was really encouraging. He made the biggest effort to bond our team together and just make us forget for a while of the stress piled in front of us. Above all, he is living testimony of someone who is so reliant on God and his plan. His carefree and spirited personality stems from his trust that in God's hands, everything will be okay. I remember I was most encouraged by him when he reminded our team of the CTI core values when we were struggling as a team. He made such a big effort to pull our team together and I am really appreciative of that. 

           Barry~ "Of all people God put next to me on the plane, it would be you!" I think the coolest part about Barry was seeing God work through him for the 6 weeks we were together. I remember being very intimidated by how knowledgeable he is about music, Scripture, and just being a worship leader. You can tell right off the bat, this guy knows what he is talking about. I would have never thought that I would get close to this guy but God has a way of being awesome and we ended up talking and sitting next to each other on the plane. He opened up and everyday you could a visible change in his attitude toward ministry and the relationship he had with the people on our team. It was super exciting to hear that he wanted to go to Seminary and become a pastor. I wish I could put into words how awesome it was to see him change everyday but I my brain is slowly not working so I will leave it at this: God changes people and I am so glad he gave me the opportunity to see that change and be encouraged by it. 

           

Guitar Section: Henry and Herman

           Henry~ If I could describe Henry in one word it would be "intentional". I have never meet anyone who is as observant and watchful as him. He truly valued the relationships he has with the people around him and it was super encouraging to see how intentional he was to talk to everyone person on the team. He has this great ability to express himself and the best part of working with him is not only getting to know him but also seeing him on stage. The most memorable thing is seeing him play God in the Creation Skit. In the part that he creates the world, I cannot help but smile every time. He has such joy in everything he does and it is seriously contagious. He is always super excited to share and bond with people. I remember on the first week we were in Guatemala, he spent 3 days editing his testimony and translating it into spanish so he can share it with the people there. The amount of passion he has is admirable and something that I really looked up to. 

* On a side note if Henry, you are reading this, the way you talk about your girlfriend is soooo CUTE!!! Hi Erica!" 

          Herman~ Lead Guitar Wobble. Stage presence is something we as a band struggled with throughout our trip but by the end, we all a signature way of moving on stage. For Herman, it was a weird penguin wobble as he took center stage for his lead solo. It was the funniest thing in the world and every time he did it, I couldn't help but laugh. He was the most consistently funny and down to earth person on our team. He was just always Herman... The whole idea of appreciating the little things in life was manifested in a person. It made our whole team laugh just to watch him be himself and be weird. I remember when we shared his testimony for the first time and thought how similar our struggle was. It was comforted to know that even though we do struggle, there is a greater joy that surpasses all our worries and failures

          Guitar Section: One of the biggest bonding times I remember having with just the three guitar players was in our equipment room. Between the three of us, I was so encouraged that God allowed us time to just talk and pray together. I remember that night, something told me to knock on their door and from there God showed me how intentional he was in bring every one on our team together. I learned to love and appreciate each one of my team members and not in a cheezy, "I have to say it because I have to kinda way" but in a, " No seriously guys.... I really love you guys." 

           

Piano: Chanelle 

           Chanelle~ There will be times in your life when you meet someone and the first reaction you have is, "Woah... you're so cool!" That was my reaction. It could have been her red hair or the fact that I facebook stalked her and thought she was famous, but needless to say, I thought she was really cool. She was our crazy good piano player who can sing and is a teacher... how cool is that!!??!! God has blessed my team with such gifted and musicians and she is certainly one of them. The one thing that I  remember is how comfortable I felt sharing my struggles with her. Very rarely do I share my personal struggles with people but God was very good at giving us countless opportunities to share with each other... and again... late at night. It is not often that I have someone that keeps me accountable everyday and for God to provide someone for me on this trip, was much needed for my spiritual walk. Overall, I am thankful for the time we spent and although I felt that I was more encouraged from our conversation, I hope I had some part in encouraging as well. OH! Did I mention she is a crazy good piano player who can sing and teach?!!? Cool huh??!

Sound Tech: Josen!

            Last but not least: JOSEN! Sound tech always amazes me because I don't understand how it works. The whole of our team and how we sound to our audience is all on our sound tech and props to him because we sounded great! During our trip, we had a big technical mishap but seeing how he was able to work through it so quickly and diligently was really... I used the word encouraging like 5 bajillion times but it was really encouraging. I might not know all the things that he says but I know at the end of the day, without him, our sound would be a lot different. It was also super cool to see him constantly cheering us on from the back. It is tough being behind the scenes but I can honestly say that he is seriously a crucial part of our team. THANKS JOSEN! 

So this post is longer than I expected but also not as long as I want it to be. This post does not do my time with CTI justice as I feel like I am just vomiting on paper but that is okay! I am still learning and with my limited understanding of the english language it is almost physical impossible to fully describe to you the relationship I have with these people. This is just a small snippet of each one of them and how they have impacted my life. I thank God for them and the time we spent together as a team. From every one of them I learned something about myself and each one of them have reshaped me in one way or the other. If you guys are reading this, again, I love you guys and yeah! 

Until next time, 

Charlie 

CTI- Servant First Musician Second

"How would you feel if after two weeks of training, you don't play a single note in Guatemala?"

During our training week, my team leader posed this question to us. We have been playing as a team for maybe a week with intense sectional and whole team training. We weren't completely exhausted just yet, but the pressure of putting12 songs together in two weeks was starting to catch up to us. So when she asked this question, many of us were immediately taken back. How would I feel if after two weeks of hardcore training, I don't play a single note? The question that came after that is this: what was the purpose of music for us specifically as CTI?

Music is a vehicle CTI utilizes as a means of bringing the good news of Jesus Christ to people from all over the world. Music is just a tool that we use to bring the greater message of hope and love to people who would otherwise never know. Music is a way of connecting with people and building relationships. So the answer is that music is not why we are going to Guatemala. If we don't play a single note there... then that is okay because that is not the reason why we are there. 

As a musician, this was hard to digest. A musician's worth and value is based on what he or she plays. What would we be then, if we didn't play music? This was an identity question that many of us struggled with. Where did we place our identity? The music we play? The team we were a part of? The instrument that we have? Where was my identity? 

The identity of those who call themselves followers of Christ is in Christ himself. In everything we do and everywhere we go, we are suppose to reflect Christ. Christ did not come with all the glories of a king but rather, he came as a mere man. He left the glories of heaven for the dirt of the world and above all, Christ came to earth as a sacrifice for the world.

Mark 10:45 says, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many."

Likewise, we are servants first and musicians second. We are servants first and everything else second.

I wanted to start off my blog in this mindset because this is the lens that I want to share the rest of my CTI experience. In doing so, I am hoping that my stories will be a way that you as my audience, will see past the physical things that I did and instead see the work that God has been and will continue to be making in the lives of my team and I. I did not travel overseas to play music and rock out with my team. (Although we did that too!) I traveled overseas to share one thing-the Gospel of Christ. 

In His Service, 

Charlie 

CTI - Intro

For the past 6 weeks, I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel to Guatemala with Carpenter's Tools International- a music ministry that sends young musicians with a passion for the Gospel overseas to minister to different communities through music, dramas, and testimonies. It was a crazy experience that stretched me not only as a musician but more importantly, as a servant of Christ. There are so many stories to tell but given the ten days I have before embarking on another journey (college),  I will attempted to unravel aspects of my time overseas as a means of reflection but also encouragement. Granted, what I experienced in 6 weeks cannot be fully unpacked in a short writing but I will try my best.


Yay for short blogs!

In His service,
Charlie

Wounded Soldiers

"In God's army, only wounded soldiers are used. "
    -a wise friend who has never cease to share with me the little golden nuggets of the books she reads.

The Stained Glass Analogy

There is something very mesmerizing about stained glass: the many colors and ridges, curves and cuts, shapes and figures. There is also something very unsettling about stained glass, how each piece fits so perfectly snug next the rest but leaves a sense of being misplaced, how each color is placed so intentionally next to such contrasting colors,  and how broken glass can still be made to look like a whole.

Each tiny glass you see, carries in itself a very different personality than the piece next to it. Each glass is broken and shaped to fit it's intended position. Without it, a stained glass would not exist.

It is only in the culmination of varies shapes and sizes that something so simple as broken colored glass can form a beautiful pattern or picture worthy enough to be displayed on the walls of a sanctuary. Each broken piece- on its own worthless and dull- together forms something far more beautiful and far more creative.

But let us not forget when we do look at the stained glass, that the different colors and glasses have not anymore added value. The glass alone is still broken and dull. The creativity and the beauty? That is the reflection of the creativity and beauty of ...the artist.

The glass artist gave value and purpose to the otherwise shattered and worthless glass. The artist has planned and positioned each glass with it's own broken and lacking personality, so intentionally in order to maximize the character of each piece. But again, let us not forget that it is because the artist saw  first in the sharp edges of thrown out glass that it can still be made beautiful.

It is in our brokenness and experiences that we are able to support each other and build each other up. It is in our sharp edges that we can sharpen the people around us and build character. It is in all our scars and wounds that the perfection and the beauty of something far greater can be reflected and seen.

It is the beauty and creativity of the artist that we marvel at, not the broken glass...

Cancer Patient Living In Her Car

11:15 AM Tuesday June 17, 2014

On the white board of a tiny blue room in an obscure city of San Diego, California, it reads: 

"Sherry (Client), 

               Cancer patient living in her car." 

On movie screens in hundred of theaters across the entire world shows the story of:

"The Fault in Our Stars". 

Sherry, that is all I know about this mysterious woman with cancer who lives in her car somewhere on the streets of San Diego. I have no way of knowing where this lady is and I have no way of knowing who wrote that prayer request on the board. All I know is that time for her... is running out. 

I wonder if the blue marks on that white board share any resemblance to the struggle of cancer portrayed in the other blue and white book. I wonder what kind of reactions people will have after reading the book and then reading the board. I wonder if all this generation of people know about cancer is "The Fault in Our Stars". 

I wonder if she is alone. I wonder if anyone will notice her, if they would find her and help her. I wonder if... by the time I read, if it was already too late. 

I spent a good two mins just standing by the door and staring at those blue lines. Within those couple of letters and words lies a greater story that I will never know. No story is as simple as life and death, but for Sherry, I cannot help but think of what her story would be like, how it ends, her battle with cancer. It pained me when I realize that not only will I never know that story, there are billions of people in the world who will never come across this message and will not even know Sherry existed- wouldn't even care. She is only on person in the entire universe, a speck of dust but still important and still valued. From our comfortable homes, other people are just numbers and figures and we are numbers and figures to them. But I challenge this and I want to challenge you. Everyone has a story, a prayer, and everyone has a time limit. Learn their stories, share your story, break some hearts, and have your heart broken because life is short and not everyone gets a chance to have their story played on the big screen. 

-Charlie 

Stars

When living in such a busy and fast paced city, it is often times very difficult to find a place of stillness and peace. We marvel at the flashes of lights and colors. We find solitude in the sound of music and drums. We look up to the sky expecting stars but only find airplanes and helicopters. We are surrounded by so much noise and chaos that  it is easy to forget what it feels like to be still... to really be still.

A couple of weeks ago, I was at a retreat, where the sounds of machines and engines were replaced with the sounds of the wind and wildlife. The bright city lights and tall buildings were replaced with wooden cabinets and towering trees. The crowds of people rushing to get to places where replaced with people strolling ever so slowly in awe as they marveled at how...how majestic the nature was. It is no surprise that even the most hyper and easily distracted people... the youth, would stop and oh so silently just observe how beautiful of a world they live in. No adult had to remind them of the serenity of nature. No adult had to tell them, "this is what stillness and peace feels like." 

Sunday night, a group of middle and high schoolers took a hike up to one of the higher places in the retreat site. There, for a good 15 minutes, we lied on our backs and looked up at the stars. For 15 mins, we were all quiet. We were looking at stars- real stars- not crazy man made airplanes that light up our city skies- real stars. It was a scene not even a camera can capture. It was a scene that begs to be seen with our own eyes, unfiltered. It was a scene that brought some to tears, some to smiles, and still some to a deep yearning for more. It was a scene that made so much sense but almost no sense at all. The beauty and the majesty of how perfect and unadulterated the moment was rendered even the most talkative into speechlessness. 

I cannot tell you what it is that I saw. I can only describe to the best of my poor ability with words how crazy and overwhelming it was. It might sound cheesy, "oh the stars were so pretty!!!" It is just one of those things that you have to experience for yourself. 

A couple of days after returning back to the city and all of it's craziness, I came across this quote, 

"We look up at the same stars, and see such different things."- George R.R. Martin

No matter what it is that we see when we look up to the stars, it all points to something greater. 

-Charlie

**Quote credit to Haley

Endings

I have a weird fascination for things that end the same way it started. There is a weird sense of completion and fulfillment in it. To come back full circle and see how different you are and how much you've grown and changed.

There is always a part of us that want to go back in time and relive the dearest and happiest moments of our lives. There is always a part of us that wants to go back in time and fix the mistakes and regrets we might have. There is always a part of us that want to just stop time and never grow up. It is in those times that we find it the most difficult to let go, move on, and continue. It is in those times that we either choose to keep walking or stop.

In these past few days, I was in this suspension of time. I had just completed a four year long circle and as much as I know it is finished, I find it extremely difficult to let go. I have invested four years to one thing and looking back, I can say that I am proud of the circle I made. It has marks of my tears, sweat, and blood; joy, pride, and satisfaction; pain, sorrow, and regrets. This was my circle; my mark on society; my mark on those I learned to love.

I have reached my finish line and went back to where it all started. I have returned to the place where it all began but this time... this time, it is where it will end. I have started and ended in the same place. All I have left now is to step away from my finished circle and start a new one. Granted, it will be hard at first- starting from scratch and not knowing when the this next circle will be completed, but I have to at least start.

My time is now done in this one place; I have passed down my ranks. I have done my duty to the best of my abilities and I have completed this circle. I cannot say I will never look back, but I can say that when and if I do look back, it will be with unspeakable joy- the joy of knowing I finished and the joy of knowing it happened.


-Charlie