Dear 204

This was one of our first pictures as an apartment...

(picture not taken in our apartment)

Graduation is just around the corner, which means a time of transition is upon us. Looking back at these last four years of college, three people come to mind when I think about those I will miss most,  those who have taught me most, and those I have learned to love most. Lucky for me, they are also the people I had the privilege of living with for the past two years. Within the thin four walls of 204, I have made the best of friends, bought and received way too many matching things, and learned the most valuable of lessons. They have taught me so much about who I am and for that I am grateful.


So here is a tribute to my apartment-mates that have stuck with me for the past three-ish-four years. 

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Dear Miss-I-Have-A-Dark-Soul, 

Thank you for all meaningful conversations we've had over these two years. You took none of my BS and was never shy to speak your mind. You taught me what it means to have faith even when it doesn't make sense. You taught me that it was okay to not have all the answers and that sometimes having the answer was not the point. Thank you for being understanding, but never too understanding. Thank you for telling me to stop being so dramatic. Thank you for not judging me when I say "hi" or "good morning" or "how's your day" even though I know you just woke up. I still get nervous knocking on your door to see if you want food because I still can't read your face. Lucky me, I get a whole other year to live with you, bother you, and see you grow in the way that you love and serve God. I don't expect to have all the answers at the end of the day but I am thankful to have someone to talk through them with me. What I know for sure though, is how much of a blessing you are in my life. You remind me many times a day how inadequate of an older sister I am (lol), but nonetheless how much more I have to learn to love. While I have very little offer, it is my hope that everything I do have to share with you will only be the truth that is from God and His Word. Here's to another crazy year of living together and Charlie-esk shenanigans... OH AND SETTLERS! =) 

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<--This was our first retreat picture.  Notice what everyone is wearing...

This is some retreat picture in-between...-->

<-- This is our last retreat photo together. Notice that 3/4 of us are wearing the same thing... as... #collegelife #whyfixsomethingthataintbroke








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Dear Best Friend,

Patpat! Oh how I have taken for granted your presence in my life. Let me be dramatic for a second. I am going to miss you soooo much! Living and breathing and eating together is literally the epitome of our friendship. Watching you live life these past three years has truly been a testament of God working in you. Your love for people and your genuine care for those who are in need is crazy. You have really taken to heart the command to love God and love others. In your imperfect way of doing that, you have also grown in confidence and found your strength in God. How we are friends to this day is still beyond me. Thank you for being literally everything I am not and giving balance to my life. Thank you for always pushing me to love others and walk this earth with hands ready to give. Thank you for being a constant reminder that God is the one who makes things beautiful and good. Thank you for your testimony of obedience to a God who has nothing but good plans in stored for you. As you go on and continue your life in SF, please come back to eat with me and be a shoulder to lean on. OKAY BYE FOREVER! JK my life would be a mess without you and Jesus.
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Throwback to when we did a food tour in SF and had like 8 meals in one day...

   

                                                ^Squat and read                   ^When random things remind                                                                                                                                                   us of each other 

This is just a cute picture of us together =) 

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Dear Roomie, 

There are not enough words in the world to express how much I love you and how grateful I am that God had in his plan for us to live and room together for the past three years. From the first secret sister to creepy unicorns, your hilarious nail video to late night McDonald's run, sweet potato or regular potato fries to late night pillow talks about creepy things in the dark, pouring our (my) soul out to you randomly in our tetris arranged room, my mind literally cannot handle going down memory lane. While I know that neither of us are leaving the Berkeley area, there is a sense though that 204 and my life will not be the same without coming home to a room filled of people who want to talk to you and fighting everyone to just have 2 seconds of your time before you fell asleep. Thank you for keeping me accountable all these years as we served alongside each other. I have definitely taken for granted how easy it is for the two of us to work together to get something done when we share a space. The way you serve the fellowship, especially the girls of the fellowship is something that I have always admired. There are days that I am sure you are exhausted and stressed out about many things but you never cease to let that stop you from loving on and pouring into the fellowship. There are night that I remember just watching to make sure you are breathing only to hear your snore really loud and out of fear I got you a salt lamp LOL. Those are also the days that I think..."dang, what would crossroads, CFC, my own college experience, be without Esther?" And I would just be at a lost for words. The amount of work you put into the things you love is not humanly possible... and that is why I know that above all else, you love God. Over the pass three years I have seen how God has challenged you and spoke truth into your life. He has taught you not to rely on your own strength by bring you through cycles of physical weakness. He he has taught you humility throughout the many times that you learned to receive love and be served by those in your community who love you. He has taught you persistence by placing some of the most challenging and crazy scenarios in your life to see if you will trust Him and continue to obey His command to love even when it doesn't make sense to. I got the privilege of what I imagine to be front row seats to God wrecking your life and making you all the more .... (i want to use the word beautiful here but that seems weird)... all the more whole, precious, full of His glory, and in God's eyes, a child He delights in. There are many more things I can say but think that no two words have ever felt are more appropriate and heavy. So Esther, thank you. Thank you for the past four years of crazy shenanigans and thank God that His plans for us are not yet over. If I have ever met anyone that I thought would change the world, you are on the top of that list. God is going to use you in some crazy way and I am honored to have had this short opportunity to witness and testify that truly God has got you through it all. 

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Dear God, 

If you had told me the day that I got into Berkeley that I would spend three years living in a space where I will not be the only one calling it home, I would have no idea what you were talking about. If you told me I would see my best friend get baptized and cry like a baby, I would not believe you. If you told me I would relearn again how to love as a sister would to her younger siblings, I would laugh. I already got two. If you told me the person I would trust and enjoying serving alongside the most will be my roommate, I would have thought you were kidding. You brought together four very different people into one space and taught us what it meant to called each other sisters in Christ. You brought two very different person and taught them what imperfect love is what perfect love you offer. You brought two seemingly strong people to our knees as we learned to find strength in you for your kingdom work. You brought two deeply confused and doubtful people together to struggle and testify to each other the truth that is in your Word. You taught this apartment what it means to be hospitable, to use the space given to us as a way to serve our fellowship. You taught us the joy of reconciliation. You taught us what it means to love. God you taught us to live together in harmony, seeking the best for each other in all that we do. You taught us to be vulnerable, how to spur each other on when life got tough. You taught us how to prioritize and keep our gaze fixed on your commands to love you with all our heart, soul, and mind and love others as you did. Thank you God for these amazing sisters in my life, these sisters that I have had and will continue to have the privilege of living with, growing with, and rejoicing with. I pray that as we depart from what we have now grown comfortable to, you will continue to use our lives for your glory sake no matter where you will bring us. I pray that the things we have learned here, in the four walls of 204, will never be forgotten. I pray that we will continue to obey and bless the people around us with what you have given us. I pray that we will always remember the work that you have done in making something so beautiful from four very lost and broken people. I pray God, that we would see in each other the work of your provision and craftsmenship. While everything else in our lives will be changing, God you are constant.You know what is good for us before we could even comprehend your work. You have been faithful to this apartment despite our lack of faith. You were working something amazing before we could even recognize glory in each other. Thank you God, for taking care of 204. Thank you God, for bringing 204 together. Thank you God for using 204 in this smallest and humble way for your kingdom sake. Thank you God making something beautiful out of the lost and wounded. Thank you, God for 204. 

Not bye forever but bye for now. Maybe we will find each other again at a different crossroads... 

Until next time, 

Charlie