The College Life...so far...

The view from my dorm....

Running in the morning...

My room!!!

So the college life... my first class starts at 11 so I figured I should blog something to update y'all what I have been up to since summer ended. Oh and on a side note, I am eating oatmeal while typing this out! =) #healthy! 

Moving into dorms and starting my college life has been... not difficult but not easy. I have been blessed with awesome roommates and hall mates. There are so many things to join (clubs, events, fellowships, sororities, adventures) but already I feel like I overloaded my schedule even before school officially started. Something that was difficult for me these past few days was "socializing". The way that my college has set up socializing events is a simple, name-year-where you live-what major are you. Anything after that either gets awkward or the person just moves on to ask the next person the same questions. It was difficult making actual conversation...or more so, meaningful conversation. This aspect of college stood out to me very early on and contributed to me feeling a little homesick and missing familiar faces. 

Granted there are other things that contribute to an awkward conversation but my point is to cherish the people you can talk to and those conversations you have. You see, words can go a long way and so a lack of words can also go a long way. I challenge you today, go out and talk to someone- someone new. Make a new friend or a couple of friends. Go out of your comfort zone. You never know, you might just meet someone or hear something that will stick with you forever. Plus! I will be doing that for the next 4 years in college so hey! 

“The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well as of being heard.” 
― William Hazlitt, Selected Essays, 1778-1830

-Charlie 

So I am probably going to share some random encounters of my college life but  I would love to hear your stories too! 

Oh, just in case anyone was wondering (nobody cares!), I finished my oatmeal! =) 

CTI- So What?

So after 9 blogs, many debriefs, talking to so many people, moving away from home, moving into college, and getting ready to start the next chapter of my life, it is time that I finally have to "move on" and focus on what God has planned ahead for me. For the last blog I am going to attempt to answer the one question that I have been trying to answer since I got back from CTI: So what?

It has been two weeks since I have been back. Blogging and debriefing was my personal way of reflecting on my time in Guatemala and CTI. I will admit that writing these blogs was difficult because there are so many things that I wanted to share and trying to pick a single story or event each day was exhausting (but fun). There would be times that I rewrote the same story multiple times before posting or changed the story over and over again until I am willing to publish the post. It was also hard being reminded of my team everyday but also good to see my experience beyond just what we did and more so the impact it had. In doing so, I was more focused on how God was working during my trip than just the random stories I have about my team. In fact, the point of the blog was not really about me or my team at all. It was suppose to reflect how God was working in us. In the same way that I want to live my life in reflection of Christ's character, I wanted my writing to also reflect how God was working.

As a person who wants to pursue writing and journalism, this experience was good practice but also a little intimidating. Post blogs is one thing but publicizing is another and very humbling for me. I was encouraged by how many people actually took time out to read the blogs and even more humbled by how many people were encouraged by my writing. All in all, as a student and a wanna-be writer, it was  a fun learning experience.

So I still haven't answered the question, "So what?" In the previous blogs I have hinted at how I want to change the way I would live my life or how I want to be a more passionate and better christian but all of that seems too vague and too... unachievable. How much passion is enough passion and isn't there always room to be "better". So I am again left with the question, "SO WHAT?!"

My answer after all this is simply, to continue and be faithful. God has revealed so much about himself to my entire team this summer- his grace, his love, and his provision to say the least. Now, all I can do is to trust him to lead me for the rest of my life. I dedicated 6 weeks of my life to CTI and for God to use me but now, I am dedicating it all. The talents I have, the skills I've gained, the experiences I can share, all of that, I want to use for His kingdom's sake. At the end of the day, I know I have been blessed beyond measures and with that, I want to give back and encourage the people around me. So that is my answer to "so what?" I will continue to live my life for Christ, the one who died, defeated death, rose, and brought the hope of salvation to the world.

What better way to end this post and this series of blogs than with the theme verse that my team adopted? In the same way my team leaders encouraged us, I want to encourage you all with this verse:

"For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness', made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." 

- 2 Corinthians 4:5-7 

-Charlie 

CTI- Lessons Learned

After taking a week in reflection of the CTI experience, I took away three important things.

1) God is faithful and he will always provide.
2) God has a plan for me and I can rest assured that wherever he takes me, is where he wants me and where I need to be for his ministry.
3) My whole life, everything I do, is ministry for Christ.

I have changed so much in these last few weeks and will continue to change as I enter into college and then the real world. My hope and prayer request is that through it all, Christ will continue to mold me and change me for his ministry and for his glory. In my experiences, I have seen God work and provide in all circumstances. I have seen the impact that the hope of the Gospel has on desperate and broken people like me. I have also seen the conviction that so many of my brothers and sisters in Christ have, to serve and give up their lives for the Gospel message. I want my life to be a reflection of Christ in everything I do. In other words, I want everything that I do to be glorifying to God.

You see, after CTI, I realized how desperate I am and how I will continue to fail in the things that I do. I also realized that beyond my brokenness is the power and grace of God. His blood on the cross is the reason why I can be more than just broken and worthless. His grace is why I am still alive and able to delight in his blessings. His love is why I don't have to worry about all the superficial things in life because he had made the ultimate sacrifice so that we can have salvation.

So in everything I do, I want to bring praise and glory to the one who gave himself up to save such a broken person like me. It is truly humbling that He found me and wanted me to be his servant- a person who deserves death but instead by grace, has been given life. It is so beyond my understanding but that is okay. He saw me- broken and all, loved me- sent His son to die for my sake, and gave me life- a hope and second chance that I don't deserve. So this is my response: Servant first and everything else second. To give up everything to serve Him because He deserves all the glory and praise.

It is a simple task but a difficult one as well. So I want to encourage you, in everything you do, to glorify the one who saved you. For those who don't believe (as I realized this post is very much centered on my faith and belief), I challenge you to not disregard what I have shared as irrelevant but instead go and seek it out for yourself. Ask questions and get involved and just learn about it. There is no harm in being curious and learning new things. I will end this post with a verse that I love and I challenged myself to live by. It takes all that complicated stuff in between and boils it down to a simple sentence.

1 Corinthians 10:31
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 

- Charlie

CTI- David

David. This man's name had been mentioned so many times before I even step foot onto Guatemalan ground. Who was this David person and why does everyone talk about him?!

So the guy in the black sweater is David and the other two are my team leaders. David, if I could describe him in one word, would be extraordinary. He is a man of many talents but at the center of it all, he is a man who dedicated his whole life to serving Christ. He was our main contact and the person in charge of the organization Youth For Christ (YFC) Guatemala. One thing that I took away from him personally, is his passion to serve and his willingness to sacrifice. 

So as I said before, David is a man of many talents. He knows where to get the best coffee, best food, and best places to visit. He has hiked up so many mountains/volcanos. He has crazy photography skills as well as crazy guitar and piano skills. He meets some of the most stressful situations with the biggest smile and attitude. Throughout the entire trip, he never failed to take time out to talk to us and bond with our team. He went out of his way to provide for our team. When our power conditioner broke, he ran around the city and brought in his own equipment and sound system for us to use. He took it upon himself to fix the power condition and brought it all over the city the next day to get it fixed. I have never met someone so accommodating and so willing to go far and beyond to serve. He put himself out there and was consistently looking out for us in every situation. Above that, he never ceased to push us musically and spiritually to seek after God and improve our music. He was our teacher and mentor, our best audience and supporter. He supported us through even the toughest concerts and always encouraged us to keep giving it our all. In every place that we played, you can see how intentional he was in building relationships with people there, how much love and passion he had to minister to them, and how sincere he was in sharing the gospel and sharing that hope. If you needed proof that God uses the most ordinary people and makes them extraordinary? There it is. 

You see, God takes broken people everyday and uses them in such great ways to further his kingdom. David is just one of the many people who have dedicated their lives to serve full time in ministry. The amount of people he has reached and has continued to reach is only a work of God. It was incredibly humbling to serve beside him and see how much passion he pours out in everything he does. I missed so much more about how cool he is, but the main take away is his passion. As I continue into college and move on from my summer with CTI and Guatemala, I want to remember this passion and have a passion of my own. He was such a great example of someone who has literally given over his entire life to God. We are still broken people and there will be times when serving whole heartedly will be extremely difficult but it is a good reminder to go about ministry with a good attitude and knowing that at the end of the day, God will work and how awesome is it to be a part of that. 

"Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms." 1 Peter 4:10

-Charlie 

Hey David! I miss you, David! Thank you for such an amazing experience in Guatemala. Thank you for taking care of our team and giving up 4 weeks of your life to take us all over Guatemala. It was a blessing to just work beside you and learn from you! God has given you such a heart for the youth and the youth ministry and it is so inspiring. I learned a lot and I pray that you will continue to faithfully serve and just be you! Thanks again for everything! I miss you!!!

CTI- God's Provision

It is good and comforting for the most part to have things planned out. I am not necessarily talking about 20 years ahead (although that would be pretty neat), I am talking about just knowing your schedule for today or the next couple of days or even having a 5 year plan. Many of us live in a world that praises those who have their life planned out. It is never a good thing to be that one kid that has no idea what to do with his/her life, even though that is the state that many people are in. We just brush off that uncomfortable talk by saying things like, "oh I am still thinking about it" or continue to list a bunch of possibilities- no matter how exaggerated. So it was a little difficult when our team went overseas and had to adapt to not knowing what was going to happen next. It was frustrating not being able to physically prepare for what we were getting ourselves into. Literally, we were told just enough information to not be completely lost. We were told how many concerts we were playing for that day and what part of the day we were playing them. By the second week in Guatemala, our team was accustomed to hearing "I don't know" to when we would ask, "what's next?" or "where are we going?" Actually, by that time, we just knew it was better not to ask. But more so, after a while, we didn't even care to ask. We were simply okay with not knowing.

While in CTI, I always worried about coming home and jumping right into college. I left for CTI with a lot of things up in the air and I had a week between coming home and moving in for college.I don't know my classes, my roommates, or where I will be living. I don't know what to expect, what to bring, or even how to prepare. I was worried about transitioning from CTI to home to a new environment in college. I didn't know how I was going to deal with it. But over my entire trip, God was slowly teaching me to let him take control. Everyday, God provided for my team. We knew up to the next hour and that was enough. I didn't need to know everything that was going to happen to me. In fact, I can't know everything that will happen to me. I can only be ready.

Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

You see, there is something oddly fulfilling about living your day without having to worry about tomorrow. I can plan all I want for tomorrow but I will never know for sure that what I plan won't change. In fact, most of the time, my plans do change, and that is absolutely fine. There is no way for me to know what tomorrow will bring but what I know for sure and what my team came to know is that in all things, God will provide. I might think that I know what is best for me and plan according to that but as a couple of my teammates shared, God knows us more than we know ourselves and if the God of the universe is planning my life, I can rest assured that things will be okay.

So I am getting ready for college (I literally just finished packing) and for the rest of my life, I want to remember and practice this mentality. I know that at the end of the day, God will provide. Where I am, is where He wants me and where I will be, He already knows.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

-Charlie 

*credits to Nick and Chanelle! =) 

CTI- Prayer

For most of my life, I found praying to be extremely difficult. Living in a world with so much noise and distractions everywhere, it was hard enough to hear what my friends were telling me sometimes, let a lone God. So talking or praying to God was just something I did because I knew it was the right thing to do. It was funny because so many times the answer I would get to why God feels so far away was, "oh, pray about it." That was super weird and super unsettling for me. I felt that my prayers were not really heard, that it was just wishful thinking. Don't get me wrong, I do believe that prayer is very much needed and a powerful tool that we have, it was just hard to remember sometimes with so much interference from the world. Granted, what I thought prayer was before this trop is not what I know prayer is to me now. 

So it was super important that praying became a very essential part of our lives when we were doing missions work overseas. Our team from the very beginning, mutually agreed that prayer was something that we needed to incorporate in everything that we did. For many of you, that might be a "duh!" or a no brainer moment. I agree, it is a no brainer, but when I say that our team constantly pushed for prayer, I mean that in the sense that a group of 13 young adults, without their leaders enforcing prayer, had the desire to pray and more so, understood the power of prayer. The difference between the sunday school answer and what our team did was that we prayed knowing and pleading for God to work, understanding that nothing that we could do would amount to anything that God was capable of. We prayed not for a good concert but that God will use us as his tools to spread his name. We prayed not for the audience to pay any attention to us but for the mindset that we were playing for an audience of one. We prayed for the Spirit to take over and give us energy that even the kids will know, did not come from us. We understood that without Him, we could do nothing. 

From our very first concert to our very last concert to the many concerts in between, God was reminding us that nothing about what we were doing overseas was about us. In fact, our team might have only left a small imprint on a master piece that was started before us and will continue after us. Our job overseas was not to be rock stars or to change people's lives. Our job was just to plant seeds, to show them that there is a hope and there is something out there that is more important and more urgent than what we have distracting us right now. Our job was to be a servant and an example of Christ- his love and his grace. In order to do so, it was vital that we understood what it was that we were preaching, truly put into practice what we preached, and in everything we do, bring all glory back to Him. How can we share in a relationship that we don't have?  How can we truly be servants to a master that we don't know? In praying, we are talking to that master and building that relationship. In prayer, we are submitting ourselves and asking the Spirit to move in us. In praying, we are looking to the one who has control of all things because we know we cannot do it on our own. 

During our last concert, our last time playing as a team, we were met with technical difficulties. For some unknown reason our bass did not work. We had two minutes to sound check and soon two minutes became five minutes. We were live-streaming and our team was just on stage waiting for something to happen or for someone to fix the problem. We had every sound tech and music trainer on stage and still nothing happened. So as a team, we gathered, on stage, the same way we did in country, and we prayed. Before we even finished or said our last amen, we heard the sound of our bassist and we knew it was God reminding us of how far we came and where our hearts need to be. Until the very end, our trip was a testimony of how powerful prayer truly is. The stories I share are only glimpses of how awesome God's provision was. We had prayers met the moment we asked and then we had prayers answered in ways that we didn't even know was possible. It was so evident that God had his hand over our team every step of the way, even when we forgot, and even when it felt like He was so far away. 

I pray that this be a reminder and a challenge to all of you. Praying is best tool we have. Do not underestimate the power of prayer. 

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phillippians 4:4-7

-Charlie 

CTI- Humility

People were always surprised when I told them that after 7 years of playing guitar and leading worship, that I do not have my own guitar. I was blessed with amazing people who invested so much time and energy to lend me guitars, teach me chords, as well as mentor me as a musician. The guitar I practiced with was borrowed from my mom's friend and it is actually sitting next me to as I am writing this post. I always wanted my own guitar but there never was a right time to buy one. I had school to worry about, college to apply to, extra curricular that just took up too much time. Getting a guitar was just an investment that I was never ready to make. It was funny though because music and playing the guitar was something I intended to pursue and continue.

So finally after officially getting into CTI, I found a reason to finally buy a guitar. I was so excited and so ready to bring it overseas. It was a Seagull 33430 Entourage Series Guitar, that to me, sounded girly. I had borrowed an electric guitar from one of my leaders who had a lot of influence in my musical involvement at church, a CTI alum, and a crazy guitar player, so it meant a lot to me that I would be playing his guitar overseas. I had everything ready and packed! I was so excited to finally have something of my own to bring to the table, but that excitement was short lived. 

After the first week of training, my team decided that I was not going to bring either of the guitars I brought, overseas. My role on the team was the Acoustic Rhythm Guitarist which means I will won't be needing an electric guitar, and one of my teammates brought a Taylor guitar which in the music world, is a no brainer better quality guitar. I played his Taylor orAshley as he named it, for the entire 6 weeks that we were together. I never really got the opportunity to play my guitar other than practicing at my host home whenever we weren't already too exhausted from training. 

On top of this, because our team had three guitarist- two rhythm guitarist, our individual time on stage was also cut. I remember complaining on the first few days that I wasn't playing for one of the more energetic songs (Tomalo). I felt that I deserved something or that I was entitled to something. It was easy for me to think that I wasted my time and money on a guitar that I won't be playing. It was easy to complain and sulk in self pity. I felt that I didn't even have to be there; that I was not needed on the team. 

God has a really strange sense of humor because the very week we had our devotions on humility and we did a team building exercise about not complaining. During the entire devotion, I couldn't help but laugh at myself. I was complaining and being selfish about something so superficial. Who cares if the guitar I am playing isn't mine? I am still playing and still doing work. In fact, I haven't ever played with a guitar that was mine, what difference was it now? Who cares if I wasn't on stage for a upbeat song? I got to jam with the audience and see my team rock out from off stage. My priority was so messed up and self-centered, that I neglected to see this as an opportunity to serve my team. 

To start my experience with CTI in such a way was truly humbling. I didn't go overseas with a fancy guitar or anything that I could call my own. My talent and ability was a gift from God. Nothing I have is my own. I was able to serve wholeheartedly, convicted of that fact that everything I have is because of God's grace. You see, I came to the realization that God doesn't need me or any of us really. If he wants his name to be known, it will happen. We just get to be apart of it and marvel at how great he is. There will always be more talented musicians, more qualified people, and better speakers than me but He chose me to go. If he wants me off stage, then I will serve him from off stage. If he wants me to submit and serve my team, then I will serve my team in every way possible. If he wants me to leave everything I have, then I will go where he will call me. I didn't have to trust in my own talent or skill because I trusted in Him to use me in anyway so that his gospel will be preached. 

"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service." 1 Timothy 1:12 

-Charlie 

CTI- Dare You To Move

One of the many ways that we ministered to the people of Guatemala other than musically, was through dramas or skits. We brought over seas two dramas and I had the privilege of playing the devil in one of the dramas. (If you go youtube: CTI Dare Drama, you can see the drama performed by previous CTI summer teams. ) During the public Q&A at the end of our trip, we were asked the question, "how effective were the drama as a tool for sharing the Gospel?" So for this blog, I want to share with you my response to this question and how it not only was a way of ministering to other people but a daily reminder for my team of why we were doing what we were doing overseas.

So as I said, in one of the dramas, my role was the devil. I remember one concert when I had to share my testimony with a tie-in to the skit. That day while preparing for my testimony, I was reminded of the pain I had in my struggle with Satan. It was especially difficult to share that day as I felt as if I was still struggling; it was a problem yet to be resolved. When it was time, I shared about how there was a point in my life that Satan would attack me with lies of my self worth. I struggled with low self-esteem and it was difficult for me to see how a God could ever look at someone as broken as I was and want to save me...to love me. I struggled with feeling unloved and unworthy. I felt inadequate as a student and as a musician. I was in a very dark place and I needed something to bring me out of it.

I looked up and saw the kids that I was sharing with.  I knew that the group of kids could relate to what I felt. I could see it in their faces that they understood what I was talking about. I could also see in their faces that they were waiting for me to tell them where they can find that hope and love. At this point, I had shared my testimony, shared the Gospel, and performed the skit so many times that I forgot how good of a news I was bringing to these kids. I was reminded of my struggles and was so focused on myself that I lost sight of how I was delivered and redeemed.

This is what I remember telling the kids: "You see, at the end of the day, and at the end of this skit, you will see Satan, or me on the floor. God will have saved man and He reigns above all things. Satan doesn't win this battle, God does. It will hurt- I have scars to prove it- and it will continue to hurt. But at the end of the day, remember that God wins and Satan will be on the floor. He will and already has been defeated."

In the skit, I played my own worst enemy;I took the place of my tormentor; I found myself on the floor at the end of it all- defeated. I walked away from the drama with battle scars. I am reminded everyday of how the battle has already been won. I am reminded everyday of how I am loved and saved by grace that I did not deserve. I am reminded of the sacrifice that was paid so that I don't have to live in that darkness anymore. Granted, this doesn't mean that my struggle will go away. In fact, it means quite the opposite. I still carry with me those scars for the rest of my life but there is great joy and hope that God uses the broken and wounded. 

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies." 
2 Corinthians 4:7-10

-Charlie 

CTI- Culture: Hope

We were warned before hand of the culture shock that we were going to experience in Guatemala. I did not go into country with too many expectations but it was funny to see how many of my expectations were completely unmet. Everyday I was shocked and taken back by something new and unexpected. I would like to share some of those experiences with you all as a means of reflecting God's provision and goodness for my team and how blessed we were when overseas.

Uno: Cold Showers!
    I went into country expecting cold showers. I was amazing that of the three and a half weeks we were there, I took a total of 2 cold showers. TWO! And those two experiences were pretty funny in itself. We were spoiled with such great living spaces and people that would open their home to us under such late notice. God truly blessed my team this year with an unbelievable provision for comfort and humility as we were provided with so much more than what we deserved.

Dos: Hospitality
    One of the big cultural differences that my team noticed about Guatemala was how nice everyone is. From people on the street to the people we worked with, there was an incredible desire to serve each other. They welcomed us and treated us like family. I never once felt unsafe there. They always wanted to serve and made sure we had everything we needed. At first it was uncomfortable for me to be this comfortable on a missions trip but I realize how it was all God's blessing that we are able to have the things that we had and share our time with such an amazing group of people. It was also a learning experience for me. If people with so little to offer can give all they have, what is stopping me from giving?

Tres: Relationships
    Back in the states, we were warned of something called Guatemalan time. The Guatemalan culture places a high value on building relationships which means talking to people and mingling was more important than everything else, like playing a concert or being on time. It was evident how much they valued relationships, when our contact would encourage us after every concert (even when we had to rush to our next concert) to talk to the kids and people there. He would rather us talk to the kids for 5 mins and then tear down our equipment in 5 mins than take 10 mins to tear down. Although 5 mins doesn't seem like a lot, I can tell that to our audience, it met a lot and it showed that we cared about them and validated the messaged of the Gospel that we were sharing with them.

Cuatro: Story Time!
     So at this point I can continue to list different aspects of the culture that stood out to me, but that would only result in an exceedingly long list that would not be fun to read so I have decided to change it up and tell you all a story that pretty much captures everything I wanted to share. Ready? Set! GO!

Day 12 in country
    Today we went to a school. It was different from all the other schools we visited. We met the principal of the school and he explained to us the situation that the kids of the school struggled with. The families of these kids survive off digging through the nearby dump sites, finding anything they could to sell. The kids get sponsored by "godparents" who give the school money so that they can provide an education for the kids.  At this point, the principal stops and says, "If the kids come up to you and hugs you or kisses you, don't me alarmed because they think that you ARE their godparents and you are the ones supporting them to go to school." As he said that, from around the corner two little girls walk up to me and one of my teammates and hugged and kissed us. For me, it was super unexpected and heart breaking. I was immediately taken back and as we kept walking around and learning more of these kids, it was difficult for me not to feel moved to want to help these kids. Of the 800 kids in the school, many of them are sexually abused at home by their families. The school, therefore acts as more than just a place to learn but a place of help and security. They have doctors, teachers, and psychiatrist on site to help these kids. The school also pays families with older kids who are forced to work at the dump sites, so that they school. We met two older kids who academically were suppose to be in the grade 1 level but because of their age difference, are given a different opportunity to get schooling while also getting paid to helping out around the school. One of the last things I remember the principal sharing with us that got me a little made was this: where we are from, we would imagine the government doing more to help these kids, but here, the government simply doesn't care. That hit me really hard because I am a person who truly believes in the importance of education and one who believes that the government should be always playing a role in providing for children. It was unbelievable to me how so many kids have been left abandoned and it was only because of a few that decided to act, that they have this opportunity to go to school.
     Next it was time for lunch and as we walk into their cafeteria, the principal explains that we will be eating the same foods that the kids eat. This was to show the kids that we are equal to them and that we were all the same. We had a plate of spaghetti, hotdogs, and tortilla. While we were eating, I noticed that no one from my team was talking. We were all in a state of awe and shock. It was a big reality check for us and truly a humbling experience. It was uncomfortable for some of us us to be there with so much, but it was a much needed experience to put in perspective the work that God was doing in Guatemala.
      By the time we got to setting up our concert, we were really excited and ready to have a really fun time. As we were setting up, a lot of the kids were already there and the craziest part was that they were coming up to us asking how they can help. They grabbed the box that I was holding and brought it to the front of the stage for me. We were all so taken back that for a moment, we did not know how to respond. These kids were so willing and giving. All they wanted to do was help and show up what they learned in school. It was the cutest thing in the world.
     We started the concert soon after and that was a crazy experience all on its own. I was expecting these kids to be excited and smiling and super energetic but I was met with confused looks, discomfort, and weird stares. It didn't click in my head until after the concert that these kids have never seen or been to a concert before. What we did was totally new for me and therefore, they did not know how to react to it. Were they suppose to clap? dance? sing along? They were confused and uncomfortable.
      The reality that these kids knew was so far from the world that we came from. It was heart breaking to see kids as young as 3 struggling the way that they did and so many people turning their backs on them. It was incredible to see the amount of work and love put into these kids everyday. It was humbling to see the work that God has been doing in the lives of the kids, the school, and the people who have dedicated their lives to bring these kids a sense of hope. In every aspect of the school, it is evident that God is at work. The hope that we brought to the kids was the Gospel of Jesus Christ. There is hope and power in His name. It was a great reminder for my team and I of how broken we all are, one way or another and we are all in need of a Savior.

The story that I shared on just a story but the reality of so many kids only a few miles away. It is evident in the lives of people in Guatemala that they are all in desperate need for hope. They are all yearning for something that will satisfy that emptiness they have. For the past 6 weeks, my team and I have carried that message of hope in Christ and it is my prayer that the few we were able to minister to will come to realize this hope and love.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. You see, at just the right time,when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation." Romans 5:1-11

His servant,
Charlie

CTI- Team Guatemala 2014

"There are so many asians on my teams!"

Before going on this trip I had the expectation that my team would be very diverse and I was mentally prepared to be the only asian on the team... Evidently, God has a funny sense of humor and I was blessed with this amazing team. From all over the United States and Canada and from all different ages and walks of life, this is the team that I spent 6 weeks with. We played together, struggled together, encouraged each other, and built relationships that I hope will last for the rest of our lives. I grew to love these people so dearly and after seeing them 24/7 for 6 weeks, I think I can also call them my family- brothers and sisters in Christ. SO! Without further ado! 

CTI TEAM GUATEMALA 2014!!!

Team Leaders: Eva and Aaron! 

        Both my leaders spent a full year traveling with CTI's full time teams CTI 14:21 and 14:22. It is not everyday that you meet people who have dedicated a year or two of their lives into full time ministry right after college. Both my leaders are great musicians but above all they were the prime example for our team as what servanthood should look like. It was incredible to see how much work they did in preparing for our trip overseas. From planning music sets to daily Bible verses, to devotions, to having a full medicine cabin of vitamin C and other fun stuff to keep the team healthy, they made sure that we had what we needed in order to serve of contact the next day. The way they both served our team is by being our guardians and taking up the responsibility for not only our physical well-being, but our mental and spiritual well-being as well as growth. They were a constant reminder that everything we did was for the glory of the Lord. 

Vocalist: Josh, Elisabeth, Becca, and Angela

        Josh~ DAD! By the end of the trip, our team called him either dad or grandpa or uncle. Regardless, he was old and wise in the eyes of the team. He was a constant reminder of being a mature and responsible adult. I was most encouraged by him whenever we would have short passing conversations and he would share some of is life stories or wisdom about the Bible. In his lessons he would never sugar coat things and said them as plainly as it is. He was our reminder to see things as they are and to not make things overly complicated. Maybe it was his age, or maybe it was his personality, but as a team we valued his words and perspective and loved to just hear him talk. 

        Elisabeth~ The baby of the group. When I first stalked her on facebook, I thought she was famous. Granted, as we speak, she might be getting a record deal somewhere in LA! She was our only fluent spanish speaker on our team and she carried us as not only a translator but an awesome vocalist. I remember listening to her sing for the first time and was immediately taken back. She has such a powerful voice that could silence any room. This was evident in our concerts whenever she led a song and got every head to turn.  I  remember smiling from the back of the stage every time she lead Jesus, Hijo De Dios (Jesus, Son of God) and the room just gets quiet and the audience just stares at her in awe while she worshipped. It was so awesome to see how God used her everyday to minister to the kids at the schools and churches. God has given her such an amazing and unique voice and I am super excited to see where He leads her next! 

        BECCA~ Thank God for Becca... and her mom. I had met Becca before I met the rest of my team in Minnesota. The story is that her mom did not want her to fly alone so she found me and ended up flying with me to MN.  What was suppose to be me watching out for her, ended up being her watching over me as I never flew by myself before. Over the course of the trip, I was glad that God gave us time to have many meaningful conversations...even if it was at 2 in the morning. She has such a heart to help other people and such a passion for missions. Her desire to be a full time missionary at 16 was very inspiring and I can see how God has just set a fire inside her to go and do work. She also has a way with kids that would light up anyone's day. Until the very end of the trip, God was using her to work in my life and to remind me of His provision. God has so blessed me with putting her on my team and I can truly say that I will miss seeing such child-like faith. God is going to do some great things in your life, Becca and I am super excited to see what they will be! =) 

          Angela~ This girl is a secret rock star that cannot have coffee. I think of my entire team, she was one of the most calm...until you give her coffee. Other than her random bursts of energy, one thing that I took away from talking to Angela is how big prayer is a part of her life. In her testimony, she highlights how through her struggles, prayer is the one thing she went back to. Through prayer, God has worked in her life and delivered her from her struggles and it was a good reminder for me as well of how powerful prayer truly is. As team, prayer was something we always went back to. Everything we did had to go back to prayer and soon praying became a thing we asked to do not what we were told to do. 

Rhythm Section : Nick- Drums, Barry- Bass

           Nick~ What I loved most about Nick was his ability to make our team laugh-from his Minnesota accent, to his Indian accent, to really random jokes, to just the way he smile and intentionally bring joy into any situation. Watching him approach people with the limited spanish that we knew and was able to draw a crowd around him was really encouraging. He made the biggest effort to bond our team together and just make us forget for a while of the stress piled in front of us. Above all, he is living testimony of someone who is so reliant on God and his plan. His carefree and spirited personality stems from his trust that in God's hands, everything will be okay. I remember I was most encouraged by him when he reminded our team of the CTI core values when we were struggling as a team. He made such a big effort to pull our team together and I am really appreciative of that. 

           Barry~ "Of all people God put next to me on the plane, it would be you!" I think the coolest part about Barry was seeing God work through him for the 6 weeks we were together. I remember being very intimidated by how knowledgeable he is about music, Scripture, and just being a worship leader. You can tell right off the bat, this guy knows what he is talking about. I would have never thought that I would get close to this guy but God has a way of being awesome and we ended up talking and sitting next to each other on the plane. He opened up and everyday you could a visible change in his attitude toward ministry and the relationship he had with the people on our team. It was super exciting to hear that he wanted to go to Seminary and become a pastor. I wish I could put into words how awesome it was to see him change everyday but I my brain is slowly not working so I will leave it at this: God changes people and I am so glad he gave me the opportunity to see that change and be encouraged by it. 

           

Guitar Section: Henry and Herman

           Henry~ If I could describe Henry in one word it would be "intentional". I have never meet anyone who is as observant and watchful as him. He truly valued the relationships he has with the people around him and it was super encouraging to see how intentional he was to talk to everyone person on the team. He has this great ability to express himself and the best part of working with him is not only getting to know him but also seeing him on stage. The most memorable thing is seeing him play God in the Creation Skit. In the part that he creates the world, I cannot help but smile every time. He has such joy in everything he does and it is seriously contagious. He is always super excited to share and bond with people. I remember on the first week we were in Guatemala, he spent 3 days editing his testimony and translating it into spanish so he can share it with the people there. The amount of passion he has is admirable and something that I really looked up to. 

* On a side note if Henry, you are reading this, the way you talk about your girlfriend is soooo CUTE!!! Hi Erica!" 

          Herman~ Lead Guitar Wobble. Stage presence is something we as a band struggled with throughout our trip but by the end, we all a signature way of moving on stage. For Herman, it was a weird penguin wobble as he took center stage for his lead solo. It was the funniest thing in the world and every time he did it, I couldn't help but laugh. He was the most consistently funny and down to earth person on our team. He was just always Herman... The whole idea of appreciating the little things in life was manifested in a person. It made our whole team laugh just to watch him be himself and be weird. I remember when we shared his testimony for the first time and thought how similar our struggle was. It was comforted to know that even though we do struggle, there is a greater joy that surpasses all our worries and failures

          Guitar Section: One of the biggest bonding times I remember having with just the three guitar players was in our equipment room. Between the three of us, I was so encouraged that God allowed us time to just talk and pray together. I remember that night, something told me to knock on their door and from there God showed me how intentional he was in bring every one on our team together. I learned to love and appreciate each one of my team members and not in a cheezy, "I have to say it because I have to kinda way" but in a, " No seriously guys.... I really love you guys." 

           

Piano: Chanelle 

           Chanelle~ There will be times in your life when you meet someone and the first reaction you have is, "Woah... you're so cool!" That was my reaction. It could have been her red hair or the fact that I facebook stalked her and thought she was famous, but needless to say, I thought she was really cool. She was our crazy good piano player who can sing and is a teacher... how cool is that!!??!! God has blessed my team with such gifted and musicians and she is certainly one of them. The one thing that I  remember is how comfortable I felt sharing my struggles with her. Very rarely do I share my personal struggles with people but God was very good at giving us countless opportunities to share with each other... and again... late at night. It is not often that I have someone that keeps me accountable everyday and for God to provide someone for me on this trip, was much needed for my spiritual walk. Overall, I am thankful for the time we spent and although I felt that I was more encouraged from our conversation, I hope I had some part in encouraging as well. OH! Did I mention she is a crazy good piano player who can sing and teach?!!? Cool huh??!

Sound Tech: Josen!

            Last but not least: JOSEN! Sound tech always amazes me because I don't understand how it works. The whole of our team and how we sound to our audience is all on our sound tech and props to him because we sounded great! During our trip, we had a big technical mishap but seeing how he was able to work through it so quickly and diligently was really... I used the word encouraging like 5 bajillion times but it was really encouraging. I might not know all the things that he says but I know at the end of the day, without him, our sound would be a lot different. It was also super cool to see him constantly cheering us on from the back. It is tough being behind the scenes but I can honestly say that he is seriously a crucial part of our team. THANKS JOSEN! 

So this post is longer than I expected but also not as long as I want it to be. This post does not do my time with CTI justice as I feel like I am just vomiting on paper but that is okay! I am still learning and with my limited understanding of the english language it is almost physical impossible to fully describe to you the relationship I have with these people. This is just a small snippet of each one of them and how they have impacted my life. I thank God for them and the time we spent together as a team. From every one of them I learned something about myself and each one of them have reshaped me in one way or the other. If you guys are reading this, again, I love you guys and yeah! 

Until next time, 

Charlie 

CTI- Servant First Musician Second

"How would you feel if after two weeks of training, you don't play a single note in Guatemala?"

During our training week, my team leader posed this question to us. We have been playing as a team for maybe a week with intense sectional and whole team training. We weren't completely exhausted just yet, but the pressure of putting12 songs together in two weeks was starting to catch up to us. So when she asked this question, many of us were immediately taken back. How would I feel if after two weeks of hardcore training, I don't play a single note? The question that came after that is this: what was the purpose of music for us specifically as CTI?

Music is a vehicle CTI utilizes as a means of bringing the good news of Jesus Christ to people from all over the world. Music is just a tool that we use to bring the greater message of hope and love to people who would otherwise never know. Music is a way of connecting with people and building relationships. So the answer is that music is not why we are going to Guatemala. If we don't play a single note there... then that is okay because that is not the reason why we are there. 

As a musician, this was hard to digest. A musician's worth and value is based on what he or she plays. What would we be then, if we didn't play music? This was an identity question that many of us struggled with. Where did we place our identity? The music we play? The team we were a part of? The instrument that we have? Where was my identity? 

The identity of those who call themselves followers of Christ is in Christ himself. In everything we do and everywhere we go, we are suppose to reflect Christ. Christ did not come with all the glories of a king but rather, he came as a mere man. He left the glories of heaven for the dirt of the world and above all, Christ came to earth as a sacrifice for the world.

Mark 10:45 says, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many."

Likewise, we are servants first and musicians second. We are servants first and everything else second.

I wanted to start off my blog in this mindset because this is the lens that I want to share the rest of my CTI experience. In doing so, I am hoping that my stories will be a way that you as my audience, will see past the physical things that I did and instead see the work that God has been and will continue to be making in the lives of my team and I. I did not travel overseas to play music and rock out with my team. (Although we did that too!) I traveled overseas to share one thing-the Gospel of Christ. 

In His Service, 

Charlie 

CTI - Intro

For the past 6 weeks, I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel to Guatemala with Carpenter's Tools International- a music ministry that sends young musicians with a passion for the Gospel overseas to minister to different communities through music, dramas, and testimonies. It was a crazy experience that stretched me not only as a musician but more importantly, as a servant of Christ. There are so many stories to tell but given the ten days I have before embarking on another journey (college),  I will attempted to unravel aspects of my time overseas as a means of reflection but also encouragement. Granted, what I experienced in 6 weeks cannot be fully unpacked in a short writing but I will try my best.


Yay for short blogs!

In His service,
Charlie